I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
