**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
