There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
