are you still at the devil's house?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
