A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize