But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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