It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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