i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
