No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
