it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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