how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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