can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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