Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
