Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
