there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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