I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
