I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
