I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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