I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
