my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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