So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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