Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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