It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
