I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize