I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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