wrigley field is MILF paradise
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love having hate sex.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
