using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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