I am puke
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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