I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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