This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
