I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
