i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
