Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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