somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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