Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
