your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
