I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
