This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
