oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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