Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize