I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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