The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
