with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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