Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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