I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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