if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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