i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
