Fuck appropriateness.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
