The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize