And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
