all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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