do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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