Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
