Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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