Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
