worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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