Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
