There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
