Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm always down for nudity.
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