dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
