Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
