An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
