It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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