i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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